What is the desired effect for Psycholobitch? It is not only to empower women but also to instill hope. Today I told a friend that her cheating spouse was a fucktard. I had never done that before. I think it took her off guard but it seemed to pack a punch. Later she told me she was thinking of sending him Beyoncé’s song “Don’t Hurt Yourself.” This is from a woman who has tolerated endless amounts of bullshit in the name of love and compassion. “I am the dragon breathing fire. Beautiful man,, I’m the lion. Beautiful man I know you’re lying. I am not broken, I’m not crying, I’m not crying. You ain’t trying hard enough. You ain’t loving hard enough. You don’t love me deep enough. We not reaching feats enough. Blindly in love, I fucks with you ’til I realize, I’m just too much for you. I’m just too much for you.”
I have stood my ground on some issues around the need for my man to respect my needs and wishes. I not only laid down the law but expressed my outrage when he continued to disrespect me. Two days later I brought it up and again let him know it was not cool. Although perhaps a tad irritated, he not only heard me but explained that he had in fact been “taking a look at his need to have others fill up his receptacle.” He informed me that he spoke with others about it and was working hard on this issue. He wrapped it all up with a bow when he asked if there was “any more I needed from him” and if I could possibly forgive him. I was speechless for a moment and suddenly had the desire to fuck the shit out of him. Need-less-to-say, being heard and desire go hand in hand for me. This was not quite the first time we have had this type of conversation and it probably won’t be the last, but I believe it could be the start of a beautiful relationship. For the first time I have some hope about my ability to speak my truth. I have hope because I was a bitch.
“When you hurt me you hurt yourself. Try not to hurt yourself. When you play me, you play yourself. Don’t play yourself. When you lie to me, you lie to yourself. You only lying to yourself. When you love me you love yourself. Love God herself.”