All of the great people of the world who effected world-wide change, and who were venerated as warriors for social justice and non-violence as an ideology, all of them had naysayers. Naysayers are not as potent as enemies, but because they are more numerous, they still carry a lot of weight and power. Naysayers hide behind neutrality at times. At other times they hide behind Facebook and post articles that they want to represent them but don’t really live a life congruent with their Facebook life. Still other times they simply parrot back popular rhetoric, not bothering to think for themselves but owning an opinion. Doesn’t matter that the opinion is not well-considered, or even completely their own.
Another name for naysayers is “bystanders” and for that reason they have power. This is important to know in healing from abuse, because part of being in an abusive situation is learning to completely obliterate your own perception. At the point of awakening, you must then choose your “bystanders” carefully, and start to weed out the more pungent and unwieldy naysayers. Fuck naysayers who say you need to let it go. Fuck the naysayers who say you should not be acting that way, or saying that about him, or feeling what you’re feeling. Fuck them. Fuck the naysayers who don’t believe you were abused. Fuck off, especially those. They are the ones who side with fucktards. Let them parade around together… they belong to their own farce.
Let’s be completely clear about what abuse is.
“Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, psychological violence, and emotional abuse. The frequency and severity of domestic violence can vary dramatically; however, the one constant component of domestic violence is one partner’s consistent efforts to maintain power and control over the other.”
And finally, the Duluth wheels are exceptional. They even have a wheel about control and abuse post-divorce.
Education is key. We know that segregation was and is wrong. We know racism is wrong. We know abuse of any kind is wrong. We know abusers and narcissists have impaired judgment since their motivation is control and to remain entitled. We KNOW this. Bystanders, naysayers, and the system might be blind to these facts. But that doesn’t make abuse in any way tolerable or RIGHT.
In this way, you become a warrior for your personal social justice. When you heal, when you find your voice and use it with strength, when you stand up for yourself, when you become strong and resilient and responsible and truthful and tolerant, you are acting in love for the world and against injustice. Keep going, bitches. Healing and healing your feelings is an act of anarchy, of transformation for this sore world, of rebellion.