I’m not feeling very bitchy today.
In fact, I’m feeling downright defeated.
A year and a half ago, I made a decision that I am now paying dearly for.
You should know that my ex husband has had me in court for four years now, that none of the four times we tried to find him in contempt of court for not paying child support stuck, that when we finally did get a hearing, he coughed up the whole amount and kept the legal train rolling with more motions.
My daughter had a very special field trip in Atlanta, which was a ten hour drive from here. My parenting schedule went like this: I get the kids at 8:30 Wednesday morning, and have them until Sunday at 3:30. The kids were leaving for the event on Monday. Fucktard was going on Tuesday morning but leaving son with his parents. They had a performance Wednesday and the main event on Thursday. I told him I had a ride down and would like to see their performance on Wednesday….how would he like to handle the exchange? He kept reiterating that son was going to stay with his parents. I said, “yes, but we will both be in Atlanta…how can we exchange son?” He stubbornly refused to change his plans, even though he himself would not be with son.
My attorney advised to just take him with me on Tuesday. That was a big mistake, because I was charged with contempt and the judge agreed with my ex, and fined me $2300, as well as terminating child support.
To contextualize this, my ex is well-funded in that his mother pays all of his legal fees. He has initiated a string of motions that have been expensive and exhausting and have spanned years. This has plunged me into debt. The judge has refused every single one of my motions to recoup legal fees, even though I have been placed on the defensive in these matters of the court.
Today, I received notice that my wages are being garnished for this $2300. I cannot afford it. It would affect my ability to take care of my kids.
He got to me today. The truth is, as unfair and immoral and heinous as his behavior is, as cruel and inhuman as he is, he has money and therefore, he has power. He has testicles and therefore, to family court, Father knows best and should always get his way.
Recently I received a message from him where he was whining about his financial situation, about how other people had to pay for his vacations to Florida and Belize, about how he had to ride in “other people’s cars” (presumably rental cars since he flew) and had to get “discount housing”.
This makes no sense to me whatsoever. The child inside of me wants to crawl into a hole and cry. Sometimes, even with an adult around, you are STILL victimized. This is financial abuse…Fucktard sets it up where I am financially compromised, then hits me with demands for money…money he never needed…money to punish me with….money to make it harder for me to raise my kids.
This is not even half of the story, only part of it.
So now I am left wondering what to do. Do I sell my house? Do I have a fundraiser? Do I take on a second job?
I understand narcissism, but I don’t, really. I do not understand not having a heart.