The Psycholobitch Answer to Trump’s Election

Taking down the platitudes one at a time, and this is for non-Trump supporters:

“Clinton supporters are sore losers.”

Winning and losing isn’t even the issue. The issues are the issue.

“There’s a bigger divide in this country. ”

GOOD. There should be a divide. A fucking gaping divide between those who support abuse and those who don’t.The whole reason poverty, racism, sexism, and other-ism still exists is because abusers and oppressors can’t be bothered to hear how their actions have affected another. They’ve never been moved by understanding the damage they’ve done. They already understand that damage and they honestly believe they are entitled to cause destruction in another’s life. I’ve lived my whole life with micro-Trumps and there is nothing that will move them from their cushy seat of entitlement to abuse. We, collectively, have to take away the benefits of abuse by shaming oppressors frequently and openly.

“Trump supporters are really kind people who want the best for our country.”

I am 100% sure that is true for most Trump supporters. I truly believe they had our country’s best interests at heart. But they support an abuser. Fuck that. It’s just like a marriage. You cannot even get to the REAL issues until you address the abuse. Hold Trump’s feet to the fire and stop the abuse. Don’t let him use pro-abuse sentiments or the system to abuse others. Facebook has been full of tales of cat calls, expressions of unmitigated hate, and the return of the “N” word. It’s that electing Trump not only gives permission to be openly abusive, it makes it SEXY. Let’s take away the “sexy” and appropriately use shame as a force for change.

Many, many variations of “don’t feel your feelings” have been put out there. Don’t be afraid, mostly. Don’t act out of fear. But ALL of our feelings are parts of us that carry wisdom. There is a logical reason to be afraid, and angry, and sad.

People talk about coming out of their “echo chambers”. Great. Get out of your echo chamber and have an open mind. Chances are it will remind you why you feel the way you do in the first place. Echo chambers are places of support and solidarity. Don’t listen to anyone who talks you out of your feelings because you will suffer more. Have your feelings and grieve for as long as you want.

For practical suggestions, I love this passage from Walter Wink, in Engaging the Powers “Jesus’s Third Way”:

Jesus’s Third Way

-seize the moral initiative

-find a creative alternative to violence

-assert your own humanity and dignity as a person

-meet force with ridicule or humor

-break the cycle of humiliation

-refuse to submit or accept the inferior position

-expose the injustice of the system

-take control of the power dynamic

-shame the oppressor into repentance

-stand your ground

-make the Powers make decisions for which they are not prepared

-recognize your own power

-be willing to suffer rather than retaliate

-force the oppressor to see you in a new light

-deprive the oppressor of a situation where a show of force is effective

-be willing to undergo the penalty of breaking unjust laws

-die to fear of the old order and its rules

-seek the oppressor’s transformation

Flight: submission, passivity, withdrawal, surrender

Fight: armed revolt, violent rebellion, direct retaliation, revenge

Gandhi insisted that no one join him who was not willing to take up arms and fight for independence. They could not freely renounce what they had not entertained. One cannot pass directly from “flight” to “Jesus’s Third Way”. One needs to pass through the “fight” stage, if only to discover one’s own inner strength and capacity for violence. One need not actually become violent, but one does need to own one’s fury at injustice and care enough to be willing to fight, and if necessary, die for its eradication. Only then can a person freely renounce violence and embrace active nonviolence.”

Active nonviolence is a path to social change.

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