There are certain principles in order to be a Psycholobitch. One of those is that your bitch status is called into question if you are with a fucktard in the sense that you are being the victim of a fucktard. Somewhere along the way you make the transition from working so hard towards having your visitor’s pass to Fucktardia to getting your visitor’s pass voluntarily revoked.
I had a conversation with a fellow bitch. She had married a fucktard of the pathological lying variety. She recounted how all of the exes that came after her were now crying on her shoulder about his exploits and lies.
I asked her the big question, “DID YOU WANT TO WARN HER???”
Of course she wanted to warn her, all the “hers”, she said. But you have to bite your tongue and bide your time because…all fucktards are liars. They can’t help it. Lying is as natural as breathing to them and then they come, over time, to believe their own lies. So, over at Fucktard central, in a little house off the streets of Fucktardia filled with opulent looking shit, he is lying about you. How you hurt him How you just want to use him. How he can’t afford to support his children yet he is ambitious. How his business is great yet he doesn’t make much money and can barely afford his office. How it is all your fault, and you were SO CRAZY he had to hightail it out of there. And you were so unreasonable he had to take you to court. By the time he’s done telling her about you, she has rushed to his side in utter and complete pity and sympathy and cannot believe any woman would put such a good man through what you put him through. You are, thanks to his skilled manipulation, PURE EVIL and he must be saved from you. And in his deft hands, a woman who has never even met you has decided who you are, based on a sick man’s definition.
So, she has “the goods” or so she thinks, and she isn’t going to give up her own illusion, veiled by her own issues. If you warned her, you would confirm everything he told her about you…that you are crazy and unreasonable. She won’t see. The family won’t see either. Fucktards are good recruiters of either more narcissists like themselves, or super nice wounded people who won’t question their control and will give them money and goodies.
Fucktardians are masters of deception. The biggest gaslighting they do is around relationship and family mores. It’s not unlike the movie “gaslight”, where he would dim the flames and then tell her he didn’t. Fucktards completely control the flames of illusions like “family” and “commitment” at will. They tell you, “of course I’d never leave you” while planning their escape. They tell you, “of course my family loves you” when his mother says something shitty. They parade around, giving off the “perfect family” signals while being completely shitty.
When I lived in Fucktardia, I did lots of things outside the boundaries of normal love to take care of him and make him happy. She is doing that too. She has jumped on the hamster wheel of proving herself to him so he won’t crook that indifferent arm or won’t leave her. Gah, I want to warn her so badly sometimes. But I know she is under the spell of illusion. My ex was all about beauty and appearance, and I guarantee he is making remarks about his current lover, just as he made judgmental remarks before about the thighs, faces, arches, and bodies of the women who came before me.
The only thing that can happen is time. I’ve seen two fucktards marry each other and be happy as Fucktardian clams in their shallow existence. They have alienated their families, but who cares, they have a pretty house and nice shoes. I’ve seen shut down women leave after thirty years of mere dealing. I’ve seen women claim their power after two dates with a fucktard.
I’ve also seen women refuse to date a man who demonizes his ex wife or who doesn’t pay child support. If he won’t support his children in their lives, he won’t support you in your relationship. The signs of having arrived in Fucktardia are always covered over with brush, meaning, a fucktard will calmly rationalize his right to demonize an ex.
I confess, my journey from Fucktardia took me down some self-destructive paths. I slept with men I should not have slept with. I slept with men who, after I consented to doing so, did not contact me any more. Ouch. I spent way too much time in Fucktardia. I tune in to what other women say. If he is labeled as an emotional terrorist by one woman, he is going to be like that to others. If he has been told by his wife of 20 years he has no empathy, or that he isn’t emotionally available, I listen to that. I don’t want to be the kind of woman who gets sucked in to supporting a whiny fucktard’s “I’m a victim of evil” story. I like the kind of man who says, “I messed up and now I’m taking responsibility in my life.” That’s the man who can handle a sexy boss ass bitch.
I personally voluntarily revoke my visitor’s pass to Fucktardia.