There is this cool thing called “The Narc Decoder”. You put in communication from a narcissist and out comes the REAL meaning behind the words. I thought I’d give it a try on an email from my personal fucktard.com.
When our child needed his soccer ball for his game, I sent you an email and sent the written instructions along with the ball. With the baseball, I just sent the written instructions with the ball. In both cases, you have found fault with me – and our child did not get his equipment consistently while at your house.
In the future, what specifically can I do to help ensure that our child will correctly use those balls while with you?”
“Ignore the fact that I signed our child up for games which have been happening for two weeks and I deliberately hid this fact. This served two of my purposes: leaving you out of the initial parent meeting so I could gaslight others into believing that I am the good parent while you are the bad, absent parent, and to set me up for being able to blame and harass you about it later, as I have done here. You dumb bitch. You can’t even read instructions. I know best
When I complain that you have found fault with me, I am refusing to take responsibility for my passive-aggressive lack of communication. I am projecting my own fault-finding on to you. Unashamedly. In fact, if you ever want a clue about what I’m doing and thinking, just look at phrases like this and then you will know. I am not really complaining about your alleged fault finding because I am the one finding fault, you stupid cunt. All you did was call me out for not informing you but we all know I don’t believe in personal accountability. I believe in projection. I spot it, I got it.
In the future, I’d like you to make it easier for me to control you by not doing things like calling me out and not going along with my deception. It’s so frustrating when you see what is going on. I even deflected by trying to make you look stupid. I went so far as to imply you could not read a simple set of instructions, thus insuring my abusive personality is exposed while making sure you know you are inferior to me. I like to make these digs because in reality I am threatened by your intelligence and afraid you will be more successful than me. This would put me in a bind because I might have to stop the charade of being poor and actually work for a living, like with a real job and everything. I might have to admit it’s not all about me.
I’m sure I’d find a way to blame you for my failures in work, too. But I’ll save it for another email.