I divorced a narcissist, went through family court hell, had to undergo a successful transference of my meager resources to a man who already had more than enough (since Mommy Millionaire loves to infantilize her grown son and keep him Married to Mom) AND ALL I GOT WAS A COOKIE!
I am not even kidding. My ex apparently made cookies with my daughter and made sure to send one along to me. In an alternate universe, where he is who he says he is, this would be received as a healthy person would have received it…kind of off-beat and funny, but otherwise benevolent in its intent. But coming from a Fucktard, it is anything but benevolent. It is not even completely clueless. It is a reminder that all he can throw me is crumbs, and in his mind, this makes him a good person. It reminds me of his incapacity to truly grasp the truth of his actions or the situation. It reminds me that empathy is not a skill in his wheelhouse, nor is logic. Ultimately, it is a fuck you towards me, a reminder that he is the toddler-in-charge here, that he is ever more court ordered to deny my humanity. It is much worse than just surface passive-aggression.
It is also a fuck you towards my children, because it is a manipulation of their perception, trying to make himself look like the good guy. It gives no nod to what really happened: that when some actual work was required of him in our relationship, he abandoned ship. He tore apart our family out of his immaturity and disordered behavior. He refused to fully be a husband or father during their formative years. So no, one cookie does not mean anything. It does not sugar coat the truth in any way. But it is a tricky thing to navigate with children who wish for their parents to love each other. I resent his manipulation of our children and realize that is all he has to give.
I am not going to eat the cookie. I do not accept crumbs and I do not pretend this person adds to my children’s lives in any positive way. He cannot be trusted to address his own dysfunction, therefore, my children need protection from his lies and gaslighting. Instead, I am going to set the cookie on fire. Fuck crumbs. I deserve a full-on apology, sincere restitution, and to see actual sorrow from him for the hurt he and his family have caused me and my children. Fuck you, Fucktard. You can shove your fuck-yous, lies, manipulation, and cookies down your own throat.