At a recent appointment with my child’s therapist, she asked me to swallow the idea that a person can be a shitty spouse and still be a wonderful parent. I have to disagree with this statement, for the simple fact that children watch to gain their knowledge.
Misogyny works by upholding a hierarchy. That hierarchy prioritizes white male wants, needs, and desires over anyone else. Strict adherents of misogyny have the power to split women and people into “good” and “bad.” The good ones don’t question them and are deferential. The bad ones require them to demonstrate human capacities they simply don’t consistently have- empathy, compassion, and altruism. This models for their daughters that while their daughter can be put on a pedestal, their daughter’s mother must be denigrated.
To be a good father, one must be able to put aside anger towards your child’s mother and model support. Disrespecting, having contempt for, and financially crippling a child’s mother is antithetical to being a good parent.
You can’t be a good parent while cutting off and abusing an important part of a child’s life. It does not consider the bigger picture of the child’s life and is a deep-seated teaching rooted in misogyny.